One of the most meaningful steps in my search was sitting down with my parents to record the story of my adoption. I asked them to share everything they remembered—how I got my name, where I was found, what I was found with, whether I had foster parents, and any details the orphanage caretakers shared with them. These conversations helped me piece together parts of my story that I hadn’t fully explored before.

I also took the time to gather all the documents related to my adoption. This included not just my official adoption papers but also any updates the orphanage had sent my parents throughout the process, my Chinese passport, and other records tied to my adoption journey.

To ensure I hadn’t overlooked anything, I reached out to my adoption agency for a copy of my paperwork.

One of the first steps in my search was investing in a 23andMe DNA kit. I ordered it on sale, completed the process easily, and got some fascinating results: 90% Chinese and 10% Vietnamese. Six months later, though, those results updated to 100% Chinese. This was my first lesson in taking DNA testing with a grain of salt.

I also signed up for the premium subscription for health insights. While it’s worth it for the first year—especially if, like me, you don’t have access to family health history—I wouldn’t recommend it long-term. And, yes, I keep forgetting to cancel it.

Through a Facebook group, I learned about GEDmatch, a platform where you can upload your 23andMe results. The interface is clunky, but once you figure it out, it’s a powerful tool—especially if you match with someone within two degrees of relation. I also appreciate that the nonprofit Nanchang Project adds new birth families to the database and provides a helpful guide to interpret results.

There are also two Chinese platforms for uploading DNA data: WeGene and 23mofang. I vaguely remember a fee for uploading my 23andMe data, but it’s been a while, so don’t quote me on that.

Recently, I’ve submitted a blood sample to the National Police Database to see if there’s a match with my birth parents. Fingers crossed.

Additionally, I purchased the 23mofang DNA kit in China. Supposedly, uploading the DNA data from 23 and Me and other services only gives you limited access as a foreigner. I’ll check back in once I receive and upload the kit to share if it provided any additional matches.

This is one of the first steps people usually talk about, but it was actually one of the last things I did. For whatever reason, I kept putting off making this document. Part of it was not knowing where I would even put up these posters, and I think that gave me a mental block and the constant thought of, “What’s the point?”

I finally took the plunge and created one. You can check out my blog post to see how I did it, and you can purchase my template through Etsy if you would rather skip that process. I still need to figure out the distribution side of things, but I was at least able to turn that information into a social media carousel that is much easier to share.

Originally, when I saw people recommending that I hire a searcher, I made an assumption that it would be incredibly expensive. Plus, sometimes these individuals were located in provinces other than mine. Despite these reservations, I reached out to My China Roots for a quote which I rejected because I personally felt that it was too high for the services being provided.

A few years later, I decided to contact the Nanchang Project to see who they might recommend. They paired me with a searcher who quoted 750 RMB (around $109 USD) per day, which included meals and hotel, but not transportation. This felt much more manageable, and the searcher even offered free poster creation and translation services. He also recommended a media partner for outreach, which would cost 400 RMB per day.

In the end, I decided not to use the searcher. While he was relatively affordable, he wouldn’t be able to get me into my orphanage. Apparently, only licensed tour groups have access. Because of this, all of the other services are things that I felt I could do or have done on my own. For now, the use of a searcher is paused, but maybe in the future, I’ll pick it back up.

There are three main platforms in China that I’d recommend you use to promote your adoption story: Xiaohongshu, Douyin, and Weibo. The platforms are very similar to Pinterest, TikTok and Twitter respectively. The best way to get your story out is to create a video with Chinese captions, post using hashtags, and then just wait for the comments to roll in.

However, something to be aware of before you start down this journey: Chinese netizens will say some crazy shit. Most of the comments are driven by ignorance, but I’ve had people imply I’m stupid or ungrateful to my adopted parents for searching, others have said my birth parents may try to scam (or even off) me for money, and one person even said that my birth parents would force me to marry my brother to get him a US citizenship. Despite how discouraging or abrasive these comments are, they help the algorithm boost your post for greater visibility.

CapCut can auto generate relatively accurate captions, so explore that platform to create your video. The mobile app may be banned in the United States but you can download the website app.

One thing I learned the hard way is that this can be a touchy topic in China. Your post might look totally fine where you share it, but it could be quietly hidden from everyone else. I recommend having a friend double check that they can see it and give it a little interaction boost once they do.

I used a Canva whiteboard to organize everything I was learning throughout my search, from keeping track of key information to mapping out important locations. I highlighted train routes, pinpointed where the orphanage was versus where potential birth family connections were found, and created a visual roadmap of my journey. ChatGPT was also an invaluable tool in helping me narrow down my search. It helped me understand the broader adoption landscape, provided context about Chinese adoption practices, and even suggested new strategies or resources I hadn’t considered. Having both a visual and informational system makes the process feel more manageable and focused.